Monday, February 24, 2014

Facing Eternity in the Eyes of a Friend

How many days do we have to impact this world? Love our families?  Give wisdom? Learn?
Since that answer is cloaked in the gauzy film of unknown I will not speculate.  The veil cannot be lifted to reveal the day of our departure.  I have a friend that is facing a terminal cancer.  She is close to that veil but still she focuses on love, wisdom and life lessons.

I went to console and comfort, armed with homemade cookies.  How does one approach social entertaining with a dear friend with a limited calendar?  Awkward at first I talked too much and listened to little.  I left feeling empty and sad. 

The next visit, again toting homemade, warm cookies, I prayed for peace and comfort for both my friend and myself.  I asked that God would contain my mouth and allow for my emotions to be real.  I prayed I could be a comfort instead of a distraction.  Here is the paradigm shift that God orchestrated. 
As we chatted I carefully listened.  I listened to the horrifying story of her initial diagnosis.  I fully engaged in her story of transformation from healthy breast cancer survivor to terminal cancer victim.  I heard and felt  her anger and frustration.  She transitioned quickly to expressing her desire to make each day count.

I found myself being easily agreeable. As I relaxed, I cuddled up next to her and shared pictures on her Kindle.  Her eyesight is failing due to a bone tumor pressing on her brain.  She wants me to see the newest pictures of all her grandchildren.  She explains that, while I am in the midst of raising my sons, she is free to experience the sheer joy of grandchildren.  She says to hang in there because grandchildren are the true reward of raising good children.

She then looks me straight in the eyes.  She informs me that she is limiting her audience of well wishers and visitors.  It appears that when you reach the time in which you can see the veil blowing in the breeze you truly see the hearts of those around.  She loves more tenderly the husband she’s been married to for decades.  She sees him more clearly and regrets being so strong and a self-reliant.  She embraces her new softness and lets him comfort and dote on her.  These are the last days of her earthly partnership: oneness.

My friend shares with me her new boundary for gossip and negativity.  In light of her limited time on earth, she is unable to stomach any negativity or gossip.  She shares a particularly cheerful and hopeful Bible verse as an example of how she desires to spend her time.  This is the tone of her future days.  She will love her creator, love her family, love her friends and limit any distractions.
 

So, I am challenged by her decree.  How will l decide to live my days; no matter the number?

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