Friday, December 27, 2013

Christmas...season of giving or season of wanting?


Christmas is a special time of year for Christians.  

Aside from the obligatory family parties, church services, shopping, gift wrapping and cookie making there is a Facebook-Pinterest standard that adds a unique pressure.  I am much like any other person with a Facebook account.  I post pictures of the graceful moments in my life.  I post the champions and the glories.  I also read my friend’s posts of glory and advantage.  Then we have to combat the television and all the ads; driving our desires beyond reason.
This year I was challenged by a book written by Ann VoskampThe Greatest Gift.  However, this challenge was not a good feeling; it did not present a clear path.  It was a challenge!  This season I am taking a breaking from social media as I see that it is creating anxiety that clouds the reason I celebrate.  So, I hung my christmas upside down.  I did not anticipate the revolt and mutiny that would be my payment for such a spiritual revelation.

            My focus needed to be rerouted from the commercialism and materialism so everpresent on social media.  I need to watch Charles Schultz’s Charlie Brown Christmas.  I needed Linus to pontificate and remind me of the reason for the season.  Dave Ramsey would be proud but my sons were less than impressed with their gifts.  
            Now I find myself reverting emotionally in these post Christmas days of sales, opportunities lost and social media posts showing the glory given by people to the ones they love.  Do I not love my people as much?  Should I have purchased different gifts; more gifts? More, More and More!
            Have I fashioned materialistic children or are we all programmed this way?  How do I curb this incessant need for bigger, better, more, more, and more?  I have participated in Samaritan’s Purse Christmas Shoebox; donated clothing and toys with my young sons and done anonymous gift cards to those that need as extra bump during the holidays.  The Tall One and the Little One see our family’s frugality and financial responsibility first hand. 

How do I teach them that our daily sacrifice is not just a slight to them personally?  Teach: to show or explain to someone how to do something, to learn or understand something by example or experience.  I will teach and continue to review the curriculum laid out by my God in the Bible.  I will re-teach without attending to the complaints, and whining.  Teach my sons to fully understand the meaning of the Greatest Gift, Jesus. (Psst! it isn't Nerf guns, mini-bikes or snowboards).


Friday, September 6, 2013

Back to School

Labor Day weekend is the end to a carefree summer of fun. On Sunday, the boys and I packed and prepped for our first day of school on Tuesday.

It is always a bittersweet time for our family. The transition back to school is tough on my family.  I move from stay-at-home mom to full-time working mom.  The boys have to adjust to a regimented schedule and schoolwork once again.

I love my work, both at home and school, but the burden of responsibility is often a weighty yoke.  I have vowed this year to better balance my work and home energies.  I want to influence my students positively but without the cost being my own young men.

My goal is lofty.  I will need several factors to improve to see the level of success I desire.  My first line of attack is to arrange a bi-monthly house cleaner.  I have struggled over having the energy and organizational talent necessary to uphold the quality of cleanliness that makes me feel comfortable. I live in a small farmhouse surrounded by dirt and dust.  It is a full time job beating back the impurities that mar my little home.  I decide to take action in asking for help.  God sent me to a fine lady who believes her mission is helping others by cleaning their homes.  She scrubs, changes sheets, vacuums and dusts.  Our home is a sanctuary after long hours away doing my own missions work at the public school.

The second arm of my plan is organization and planning at school.  I preach daily about the wise use of time.  I teach these of a daily planner, long-term goal calendar and the all-mighty Post-It note.  Now the teacher/preacher must DO.  I printed a year long calendar by months off my computer using WORD.  Then I checked my online IEP platform to list the due dates.  Placing them on my calendar a week in advance with phone numbers and emails if listed, would hopefully help me arrange meetings well in advance on the impending annual review dates.

Next, I created an email list of all my student's parents and guardians so I could send information out quickly.  I also created a list of just my senior students as they will need different emails forwarded or sent to them.

I also needed labels printed so I could send all my original paperwork to our local consortium for review and audit.  I again had to ask for help.  A sweet secretary in our office offered to simple print them for me when I asked her for guidance.  So armed with my labels, housekeeper, and calendar I am hopeful that I will be an effective teacher and a wise, sweet Momma as well.

My school district requires the use of a Moodle, which we received training on the last week of August.   I have yet to see how I might organize this tool to help me be more efficient in the classroom.  I am looking forward to learning this new format of curriculum delivery and curation.

I will let you know if my plan works...

Sunday, September 1, 2013

Summer Reading Review 2013

Earlier this summer I read an autobiography written by Lyssa Chapman, Walking on Eggshells: Discovering Strength and Courage Amid Chaos. She is the 7th child of “Dog” the Bounty Hunter. It is a popular show about the family bounty hunting business on A & E. Her poignant retell of her lost childhood and the struggles of family addictions and narcissism was startling. She is an inspiration and a survivor. This book was a refreshing start to my summer reading. An unplanned read but nevertheless edifying and valuable.

 Next I sped through Irene Nemirovsky’s Suite Francaise. It is a compilation of two incomplete novels by Ms. Nemirovsky, who died in the Auschwitz Concentration Camp during the Nazi occupation of France (WWII). The journals and beginnings of the books are translated by Sandra Smith with integrity. I especially enjoyed the maps provided and the character development in book one, Storm in June, and book two, Dolce. This novel was a rare look into the sociology and psychology of the fleeing French during the early days of WWII. I was better for reading this book.

 Lastly, I read, or listened to, Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom. Admittedly, I needed to read this book for my upcoming Senior English class. I was moved to tears, chastised by my own callousness and encouraged by the life lessons that I could impart to my students. This book is a necessity for anyone choosing to live instead of just exist. As a working mom, I exist, or survive, much of the time. Listening to this book during my “walking” workouts and then again in my kitchen canning beans with my husband brought me a sense of calm and purposeful enjoyment of my very full life.

 Next I might tackle something light and fun or Steinbeck’s The Pearl.

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Grunts, Guilt and Cravings


It’s a low point in which I find myself eating the dusty, broken crumbs of the Salt & Vinegar Potato chips from the bottom of the bag.  My less than discerning tongue can’t even tell if they are stale.  Does my tongue, psyche or heart even care?  I am not terribly hungry but I am terribly emotional, exhausted and cranky.  

It is a few days post 4H fair.  We came home in the mud and rain.  The camper is a wreck, the clothes have been washed several times but still have stains.  The house needs my attention and my kids are exhausted.  Exhausted kids; now that’s another blog post.

Yesterday, we started with loading the remaining 28 market chickens into a trailer and off to the butcher.  Next, Young Ones’s hog, Tiger, is off to fulfill his destany.  Tiger is close to 300 lbs of curious cuteness, if you like pigs.  He was a complete gentleman and loaded himself on the trailer in an aura of sacrifice.  Young one came down from his bed, wrapped in a towel off the clean (unfolded and definitely not put away) laundry pile and my flip flop sandals.  He flopped his way out to the trailer to say to goodbye to his pet, er, market hog. 
 
We cracked the door and Tiger snuggled Young One’s hands.  Grunting his goodbyes in piggy language, Young One did well bracing his emotions as he scratched Tigers head one last time.  We all felt guilty. 

 
Back to my cravings, "Twinkie eating" in the camper while I clean countertops, refrigerator shelves and floors.  Twinkies!  They are back!  I had to do a scientific experiment.  Do the new Twinkie taste like the old Twinkies? Yes, indeed they do but now they have the new ingredient of guilt. No one saw me eat the Twinkie except God.  

Cravings are a substitute for my lack of connectivity with my Maker.  This week was an exercise in me exerting my will power, my agenda and letting my hormones/emotions run my decisions.  Needless to say this plan of attack was less than successful.  Hence, the Salt &
Vinegar Potato chips and Twinkies.

Today is a sunny day made for me to dry out the wet, soggy mess; metaphorically and physically?  Time to throw away the bag of chip crumbs, lock up the Twinkies and say a prayer.

I highly recommend the Made to Crave bible study by Lysa TerKeurst.  It won’t keep you from eating chips or Twinkies but it will lead you to a closer relationship with Christ, who made us to crave Him.  Forgiveness and grace is a wonderful thing for those of us who eat emotionally and feel the guilt keenly.

Saturday, July 20, 2013

The Backstory

Here are some basic facts about my life and perspective. Maybe you share them; maybe not...

 Personal: I am a 40-something wife, mother and special education teacher. I live in a Mid-western rural area. I am fond of saying I live “in the fishbowl” because I live, teach and attend church all in the same small community. My life is often on display.

 As a wife, I am seasoned with 16 years experience. I met my husband on a blind date and married him a little over a year later. I am a mother of two boys. God knew exactly what he was doing keeping me out of the realm of pink and frills. I love pink and frills but find myself in the land of dirt, fishing, hunting and such. I love a happy, dirty little boy that has explored and found.

 On our farm, Bluebird Meadows, we have fresh eggs, 4H projects and produce (gardens) and of course, bluebirds. I love to grow, control; I mean cultivate, things. My garden is not perfect. It is a metaphor for my life. That patch of dirt starts out ready for the sun and seeds but ends up filled with orchard grass and weeds.



 Although, I lost my two trusty steeds to old age in the last year and a half I am an avid horsewoman. I hope to regain my horse ownership status someday. I read as much as my children will let me. I keep thinking it will be a great example in behavior to read in front of them. They are not taking the quiet leadership like I imagined.

 Professional: Special education is a job for those that can see the hope in the unseen. I still see the possibilities and potential in my students. I spent my first 13 years in the local elementary school with short stints to the middle school arena part time. Now I play in the big leagues…high school. The game is the same but the rules have changed.

 Hobbies: Really?! Does a working mom really have hobbies? Why yes, they just look like work to everyone else. I have to admit I have stacks of scrapbooking materials and loads of unorganized photos saved on a plethora of different devices. Even Apple’s iCloud can’t help me! I try to fit in a good bible study once a year. Does any of that count as a hobby? Then there is the housework, maintenance on the farm and animals to feed.



 Maybe gardening is my hobby but frankly parenting is the only thing I can stick with.  Oh, but I forgot bathing piggies for Fair!  That's hobby for sure!


Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Blog Lovin

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No More Procrastination!


I imagine myself as a blogger. But until now, I hadn’t the energy or courage to actually set a blog and enter text.  The fear of failure loomed.  The possibility of imperfection reared its ugly head and I ran for the hills.  Then there is the ever-present excuse that I am an exhausted, working mom living on 37 acres of land that is trying to reclaim itself from my vision of cultivation and manicured perfection. 



Blogging is something energetic, confident and qualified people do, right?  Being a Pinterest addict, I have visited many blogs; some good, some not so good and some beautiful.  I have seen the “face” of these blogging people.  I could do this, if I could muster the energy.



I am a lifelong learner but consider myself an “apprentice to all things, master of none.”  All these life experiences and fodder for my inner blogger and still; no blog. 



Direction. Focus.  Those are powerful words for anyone.  I needed direction for my blog.  A focus.  Oh, and a cheerleader.  I found a blogging angel in my friend and peer, Lizzy.  theteacherchick@blogspot.com  She is my mentor and cheerleader.  She believes in me when I don’t.  She leads when I am tired and she follows willingly when I have a great idea.  The following part is especially flattering. 



Liz is the mastermind behind my blog.  She helped me find my focus, which is actually a purposeful unfocused approach.  I know a little about a lot.  I am fearless when it comes to trying new things in the classroom.  I also LOVE horses, gardening and reading.



Direction: Where ever the winds blow me.

Focus:  Things that I love or want to learn.



Now I am blogging!